The Sinning Preacher

Here I stand on the stage,
Speaking truths that I’m not living
Telling stories I’ve stopped believing
But If I put on a smile
And draw experiences from the pile
I can hide a little while

I’m just trying to stay relevant
I’ve tried to return and reinvent
Hiding the truth that I still can’t
Get the hang of this New Covenant

I’m struggling,
And fleshly desires like a wraith
Are quenching and strangling my Faith
I’m choking on the LIFE I’m breathing
Not heeding to the WORD I’m speaking

I still stand up to preach
Thinking that I’ve just got to teach
But I’m scratching their sensual itch
God, I know I’m blind leading the blind
We’re all destined for the ditch
Cos’ like infants they’re listening
Every word they’re believing
Wide-eyed with wonder

Tho’ sometimes I stop and ponder:
I’m teaching others to tread water
Can’t anyone see I’m a pretender?
That all the while, I’m going under?
Because I can’t surrender
To the Truth, I’m an offender

So, Dear Friend, pray for me,
There are things that eyes don’t see,
This is not who I’m made to be
And evidently, I’ve kept it all within
I’ve chosen to keep deceiving
But these Words I’m saying
They’re standing and steadily judging
Oh, woe is me!!!

If only I could reach out
I scream,
But let no one hear the shout
Is this what my life’s about?
Stand up in church on Sunday,
To preach and teach
Simply chasing clout

I’m wounded

But I won’t let that hinder me
There are people to be fed,
They’re standing waiting on me
Can’t you see?
They all look up to me
And if I have to bleed and feed ‘em,
Isn’t that okay with HIM?

But, I’m getting weaker
Life-blood steadily draining
Chains around my neck restraining
They keep suffocating
I wish to be free
But I’m too busy liberating
The prisoners all around me

Alas…I pushed it too far…
I fall to my knees
I look down, mortally wounded
Chronically unfed
Arrow wound to the head
Not what I intended,
But like the Poets have said
Here lies another careless soldier, Dead